{"id":5442,"date":"2019-10-04T16:52:22","date_gmt":"2019-10-04T20:52:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/box5167.temp.domains\/~leapica1\/?p=5442"},"modified":"2023-03-13T15:43:27","modified_gmt":"2023-03-13T15:43:27","slug":"on-criticism-and-kindness-in-the-digital-data-industry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/on-criticism-and-kindness-in-the-digital-data-industry\/","title":{"rendered":"On Criticism and Kindness in the Digital Analytics and Marketing Industry"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; fullwidth=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_fullwidth_header title=&#8221;ON CRITICISM + KINDNESS IN THE DIGITAL ANALYTICS AND MARKETING FIELD&#8221; subhead=&#8221;A Data Story&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; background_overlay_color=&#8221;rgba(31,39,81,0.73)&#8221; module_class=&#8221;blog-hero-section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.1&#8243; title_text_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; title_font_size=&#8221;55px&#8221; title_letter_spacing=&#8221;5px&#8221; title_line_height=&#8221;1.1em&#8221; subhead_text_color=&#8221;#76c8d6&#8243; subhead_font_size=&#8221;25px&#8221; background_image=&#8221;https:\/\/leapica.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Divi-Fullwidth-Header-Image-2.png&#8221; parallax=&#8221;on&#8221; parallax_method=&#8221;on&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;175px||175px|&#8221; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_fullwidth_header][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; max_width=&#8221;750px&#8221; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.13.0&#8243; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<h2>LISTEN TO THE PODCAST<\/h2>\n<div id=\"buzzsprout-player-5668969\"><\/div>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/playlist.megaphone.fm?e=POD7335592982&amp;light=true\" width=\"100%\" height=\"200\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h4>Pssst\u2026I have a secret. No, it\u2019s not a new tutorial on Google Sheets charts or PowerPoint secrets.<\/h4>\n<p>It\u2019s something much more personal. You see, my greatest passion is storytelling, and I\u2019d like to do more of that with the things that matter to me most.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The secret is&#8230;I have a little girl inside of me who\u2019s still terrified of trolls.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Internet trolls, that is.<\/p>\n<p>AKA, people who send inflammatory messages over the internet to incite discord for personal gain.<\/p>\n<p>This fear has grown alongside my increasing visibility in the world of digital analytics and marketing.<\/p>\n<p>As someone with a childhood riddled with bullying and rejection, trolls and I don&#8217;t mix very well.<\/p>\n<p>Luckily, I am blessed to receive mostly glowing feedback from my audience.<\/p>\n<p>Other than one particularly unkind tweet referring to a podcast episode, I\u2019ve managed to evade the troll\u2019s den.<\/p>\n<h2>An Unfortunate Email<\/h2>\n<p>That is, until I received a message from a subscriber several weeks ago in response to my new guest post on Beautiful.ai, about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.beautiful.ai\/blog\/6-effective-presentation-techniques-inspired-by-marie-kondo\">6 Effective Presentation Techniques inspired by Marie Kondo<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what that message said, verbatim:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>\u201cHow about doing Marie Kondo on your site? I see\u00a0 21 trackers on even the login page. I know\u00a0 you do web analytics but that doesn&#8217;t give an excuse for being so messy about it.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Oof! went my belly. I reread the message several times to be sure that someone actually wrote to me this way.<\/p>\n<p>Then, I proceeded to experience a sequence of emotions and reactions that went something like this:<\/p>\n<p>First I be like:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-5449 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/leapica.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/giphy-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Then I be like:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-5451 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/leapica.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/giphy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"341\" height=\"331\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Finally, as is characteristic of my deep family legacy of fiery retaliatory energy, I be like<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-5450 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/leapica.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/giphy-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"381\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Now, I had put an exceptionally large amount of blood, sweat, and tears into this guest post for several months, and created it from a deep place of service to others.<\/p>\n<p>So to have my theme used as fodder for this person\u2019s sour words wasn\u2019t exactly the way to get on my Christmas card list.<\/p>\n<p>As such, I had to work hard to stow my itchy trigger finger and prevent it from firing off a scathing response poste haste.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, I went through a specific process that I\u2019d like to invite you into.<\/p>\n<h2>The Two Tasks of Confrontation<\/h2>\n<p>I believe that in every challenging situation, we are charged with two tasks (in no particular order):<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Receive the lesson within the challenge<\/li>\n<li>Decide how to respond to the challenge (if at all)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Regarding the first task: several years ago, I made a conscious commitment to view life\u2019s ups and downs as a compendium of learning opportunities rather than a series of unfortunate events.<\/p>\n<p>This episode was no different: I had a choice to stop ruminating and start illuminating.<\/p>\n<p>Once my steam kettle got back to a simmer, I was able to see more clearly and work on having the humility to see the lesson. Because this was an asynchronously loading email conversation, I had time to formulate my response.<\/p>\n<p>Part of the reason I was so triggered was that he had hit on something really sensitive. For a long time, I\u2019ve struggled with maintaining my own website analytics simply because building a business as a trainer in the field of data presentation has been all-consuming of time and attention.<\/p>\n<p>Converting my private data presentation and storytelling workshop into a web class and now into an <a href=\"https:\/\/inspiring-insights-academy.teachable.com\/p\/data-storytelling-presentation-bootcamp\/\">online course<\/a> has eaten up the better part of the last year.<\/p>\n<p>I was still regularly monitoring my site stats, but I was aware that there were major gaps. Which was why I set out to hire a fantastic <a href=\"https:\/\/bkingdigital.com\/\">consultant to audit my site analytics<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I was just weeks away from kicking off a major audit with them to tie some of these loose ends. But this email subscriber shown a bright light on the cracks I already suspected were there.<\/p>\n<p>I almost allowed my \u201cImposter Syndrome\u201d to kick in, wondering how I could help anyone in the field of analytics if my analytics were jacked.<\/p>\n<p>And then, I had compassion because I\u2019m not out there teaching analytics implementation with shitty analytics on my site; I teach data storytelling and that\u2019s where the bulk of my available time goes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Regardless, the lesson was received: prioritize \u201ctidying up\u201d to ensure clean results for me, preserve the integrity of my reputation, and avoid provoking sleeping analytics dragons.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I silently thanked them for taking the time to illuminate me and then moved on to the second task of response.<\/p>\n<h2>Choosing To Respond from the Space Within the Moment<\/h2>\n<p>If you listen to my podcast, you may have noticed that I\u2019m a bit of a quote junkie; quotes frequently pop up in my life at the precise moment I need to remember something important to teach myself or others.<\/p>\n<p>One of my favorite quotes of all time came to mind as I pondered my next move, beautiful words to live by from Victor Frankl:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>&#8220;Between stimulus and response there is a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Having the presence of mind to take a space within the moment before response to <em>choose<\/em> the response is incredibly difficult, and I f*ck it up all the time.<\/p>\n<p>My first choice was probably what most people would recommend and just ignore it. Why feed into an obvious attempt to antagonize me?<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a fair question. And yet, I am a teacher, and in my assessment of this situation, I decided that this was an opportunity to spread the message of one of my brand\u2019s value pillars: <strong>kindness<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>And, I didn\u2019t really care whether they were open to the lesson or not.<\/p>\n<p>On top of that, there are medical studies that show that the root of illness is a lack of expression and withheld resentment.<\/p>\n<p>Emotions are stored deep within our tissues and can cause rampant health issues. Unfortunately, in our incessant drive to please everyone, we don\u2019t let people rightfully know when they\u2019ve crossed one of our personal boundaries.<\/p>\n<p>So, I got myself out in nature, made myself a mug of soothing lemon balm tea, and contemplated all of the, erm, elegant ways to communicate what I was really thinking&#8230;<\/p>\n<h4><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-5457 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/leapica.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Giant-Bag-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"Funny Mug\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" \/><\/h4>\n<p>As I considered my response, I felt saddened to remember how rampant judgment flows through the corporate world, with the digital marketing and analytics field being no exception.<\/p>\n<p>During meetings, we jump down each other\u2019s throats without hesitation with counterarguments and rebuttals.<\/p>\n<p>We expend effort showing how right we are and how wrong they are.<\/p>\n<p>Entire websites are dedicated to taking public potshots at each other\u2018s work and creating a virtual lynch mob environment.<\/p>\n<p>And I\u2019m sharing all of this with you because I dream of a world where this doesn\u2019t exist anymore.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a world where we collaborate to help each other level up rather than use each other as pi\u00f1atas to make us feel better about ourselves. \/soapbox<\/p>\n<p>With full expression and kindness in mind, I evaluated, I contemplated, I deliberated. Finally, I chose my response.<\/p>\n<p>I knew that if I said something really mean it could be used against me and I was determined to be a champion in this field for kindness and compassion.<\/p>\n<p><strong>But if I was going to walk my talk, I also needed to sit with myself and remember that \u201cI don\u2019t know what I don\u2019t know.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I tried to imagine possibilities of why this person would respond this way other than the seemingly obvious fact that they are simply a d*bag:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Maybe they were having a really bad day, like getting stuck in traffic or getting fired.<\/li>\n<li>Maybe they were annoyed that someone projecting herself to be an expert in something wasn\u2019t holding up her end of the bargain.<\/li>\n<li>Maybe they thought they were helping me and tough love was their communication toolset.<\/li>\n<li>Maybe they were raised in a culture where extreme radical honesty and directness is the bridge to trust.<\/li>\n<li>Or maybe, they\u2019re just a d*bag.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The point of the exercise is not which possibility is the right one. It\u2019s to blunt my sharpening ax enough to soften my response.<\/p>\n<p>It brought me back to a more centered place where I could respond true to my values.<\/p>\n<p>The trick would be to be forthcoming <em>and<\/em> hold the line with kindness.<\/p>\n<p>Another quote surfaced that was one of my favorites; a gem of timeless wisdom by Rumi about how everything we say should pass through three important \u201cgates\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>I thoughtfully wrapped the quote in what I thought was a balanced yet direct response:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Hi! Thanks so much for the tip.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Your message brings up one of my favorite Rumi quotes:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>At the first gate, ask yourself &#8216;Is it true?&#8217;\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>At the second gate ask, &#8216;Is is necessary?&#8217;\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>At the third gate ask, &#8216;Is it kind?&#8217;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>While what you pointed out may have passed the first and second gates, it certainly didn&#8217;t pass the third.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Just because someone can say something, doesn&#8217;t give them the excuse to say it without kindness.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I hope that serves you. Be well!\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I reviewed and reworded the message several times, and decided to leave out a retort on his extraneous spaces and the fact that I don\u2019t actually <em>have<\/em> a login page.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, I still missed a typo which I chose to keep here. I was in a heightened emotional state, and I\u2019m not perfect. But I am authentic.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, I clicked send and then immediately unsubscribed them from my list, blocked his email, and completely disconnected on all forms of social media.<\/p>\n<p>I felt fully expressed and wasn\u2019t going to invite any sort of debate or continuing engagement.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Then, I took a moment to visualize them and sent them kindness and compassion. Finally, I let it go.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The reality is, like me, this person had a choice. They had the opportunity to choose their response in that space of being triggered by my actions.<\/p>\n<p>And my responding with strength and kindness helped me stay in line with my brand\u2019s values, as with my <a href=\"https:\/\/leapica.com\/blog-constructive-criticism\/\">Conscious Critique method<\/a> for delivering constructive feedback.<\/p>\n<p>The irony is that if they had positioned their feedback from an angle of opportunity rather than judgment, and they were offering analytics audit services, I may have even considered partnering with them!<\/p>\n<p>But instead, I\u2019ve left them to their own devices to examine how they want to show up in this world as a member of the digital community.<\/p>\n<p>Did I twist a little baby butter knife by repurposing their words at the end? Sure, I\u2019ll cop to that. I am a human being, Captain, not the Buddha.<\/p>\n<p>But I felt resolved because there wasn\u2019t a single word in this message that could be construed as unkind, and sometimes you need to use a common language to facilitate understanding.<\/p>\n<p>The ultimate goal of my response was giving kindness:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>To myself by delivering my unhappiness to them rather than holding it, and<\/li>\n<li>To them with the possibility of planting a seed that could change how they treat others in the future.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Final Thoughts<\/h2>\n<p>In the end, Richard Carlson said it best:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>\u201cChoose being kind over being right and you\u2019ll be right every time.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>If we\u2019re going to be a world obsessed with being right, we might as well go about it the kind way.<\/p>\n<p>So let\u2019s pause, find the space in the moment, and choose to be nicer to each other, people. Mama is watching.<\/p>\n<p>Because there\u2019s more mug where that came from.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-5447\" src=\"https:\/\/leapica.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/rCGSEkSBSmmHufptCTtMRw_thumb_1be2-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"Funny Mug\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Namaste,<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-4501\" src=\"https:\/\/leapica.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/Lea-Signature.png\" alt=\"Lea Signature\" width=\"100\" height=\"50\" \/><\/p>\n<h2><\/h2>\n<h2>When did you choose kindness over rightness in a professional situation?<\/h2>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; disabled_on=&#8221;on|on|on&#8221; module_id=&#8221;cta-section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.6&#8243; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; disabled=&#8221;on&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row module_id=&#8221;cta-row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_code admin_label=&#8221;DSBC Webinar Expandable CTA&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22.7&#8243; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; global_module=&#8221;5272&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div class=\"cta-info\"><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --> Join me for my next FREE WEBINAR on <strong>&#8220;How to Present Compelling Data Stories in PowerPoint and Become the In-Demand Source for Insights&#8211;WITHOUT Putting People to Sleep!&#8221;<\/strong><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --> <!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><a id=\"sign\" href=\"https:\/\/events.genndi.com\/register\/818182175026328232\/bbf97967d6\">REGISTER TODAY<\/a><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --> <!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_code][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; fullwidth=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; fullwidth=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_fullwidth_header title=&#8221;ON CRITICISM + KINDNESS IN THE DIGITAL ANALYTICS AND MARKETING&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5475,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[174,57,167,59,70,327],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5442"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5442"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5442\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48588,"href":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5442\/revisions\/48588"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5475"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5442"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5442"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zohf.me\/lp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5442"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}